January 2012
1 post
It's Been Awhile...
Happy New Year everyone! So yeah, it’s been like 6 months since my last post but c’mon… I’ve been busy. Busy enough that I couldn’t find time to post about AC’s shenanigans? No. But it’s easy to get complacent when your cat is a grade A douche-waffle. This blog would also get stupid repetitive if I posted every time AC puked/knocked something...
August 2011
1 post
To Boldly Go... To New Places In The Kitchen
When you live your entire life in a smallish apartment in Brooklyn, and even more to the point, when you are not allowed into one room of that apartment, and gain sparing access to the bathroom, you probably get a little bored with your surroundings pretty quickly. Seems that it’s taken AC about 4 years to reach that threshold…
I woke up Saturday, much earlier than usual, and by...
July 2011
3 posts
AC... The Mighty Hunter
One of the more peculiar things I’ve noticed about AC is that he likes to drown his toys. When this first started, I did a bit of research to see why this occurs and was met with many results explaining that it’s an instinctual left over from their days in the wild. Some say it has to do with masking the scent of their meal so other won’t come looking for it, some say it was...
Greetings and Salutations
While the lolcat pics that accompany most if not all of the posts here generally refer to the wiles and neuroses of AC, this particular one is more my mindset. Over the past 36 hours, my email has been somewhat bombarded by Tumblr notifications of new followers (and I love all of you equally… except for you, you’re my favorite…), and I have to admit I’m taken aback as to...
Oops...
So the other day I accidentally locked AC in the bathroom overnight. Seriously amazed I didn’t find this out until morning. I guess I deserve this one.
On a similar “oops” note… accidentally broke the commenting system the other day while trying to snazzify this piece. I mean… AC must’ve done it, yeah, that’s it.
June 2011
1 post
Plottin' and Schemin'
It’s been a whirlwind couple months for me, though I don’t really update this blog on a regular basis so I’m guessing no one has noticed the lack of updates. So let’s get down to why this blog exists…
Over the past month and a half, I have been traveling quite a bit. I went to Thailand for one of my best friend’s bachelor party for a week and a half, and...
April 2011
1 post
9 tags
March 2011
1 post
Dan Marshall: Silent Art Auction for Japan... →
marshalltattoo:
As many of you know, my wife and I have many family members and friends living in japan. Thankfully, everyone we know is safe and out of harms way. Unfortunately, that is not the case for thousands of people. Watching the images and seeing so many people with everything taken away from them,…
15 tags
Quick... to the Poop Palace!
I’m coming up on about 3 and a half years of being a “kitteh daddeh” as I’ve been called… I figured it was time for a new poop box for my little monsters. I present to you, the iShitBox Pro! Or if you want to get technical… the Booda Dome Clean Step Litter Box.
It looks like an Apple product to me, or at the very least an Apple Store. So I felt it was only...
February 2011
2 posts
11 tags
It's official, AC is trying to kill me
I woke up this morning like any other… hit the snooze button a couple times, stumbled to my computer to check my email and facebook, etc. As I stumbled out of my bedroom I noticed that the kitchen felt unusually warm. It’s the one place in my apartment that doesn’t respond to forms of climate control so for it to be warm, hot even as was the case, is odd. Being that I was still...
January 2011
1 post
12 tags
...a little too quiet...
It’s been quiet around here for too long… the blog that is, not in my apartment. I’ve mentioned before that were I to post every single asshole thing AC does to the blog, I wouldn’t be able to carry on with a semi-normal life. Let’s start with the pic you see up top there…
I’ve blown out the exposure so you could see it better. Those marks are from AC...
December 2010
1 post
9 tags
There are no stupid questions... just stupid cats
The comments I get on here tend to be empathetic, or at the very least, thanking me for showing said commenter that they don’t have it “that bad.” So I figured I’d setup the “ask” feature on here so people can ask me about the turmoil I live on a daily basis living with AC. Feel free to direct your questions directly to AC as well. Just click on that big ole...
October 2010
1 post
11 tags
Siren Song
My first instinct is to begin this post by apologizing for how quiet the blog has been… but that’s just the blog. I’ve done well to AC proof my freezer, there have been no more mishaps and my electric bill is now down to a much more manageable $120ish a month. I’ve also stopped using my air conditioners and have been putting my computer to sleep when I leave for work on a...
September 2010
1 post
7 tags
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
And again…
August 2010
1 post
6 tags
The Hits Keep Coming
First off, yes, my electric bill is abnormally higher than most people’s. I’m a geek, I have lots of electronics going all the time. I just got my electric bill that was from the time period when AC first left the freezer open.
$102.43 over the bill previous. I’m looking forward to another one of these awesome bills next month since that will cover this one when he left the...
July 2010
5 posts
9 tags
Thank You Sir May I Have Another...
Mother… Fucker…
That’s it, I’m going to start keeping a tally of how much this cat is costing me in senseless destruction. I’m sure the amount is well over this, but I’m going to just start at a simple $200 for now and add on from there.
8 tags
All Filler, About 4% Killer
As much as I would like to attention whore myself out by providing thrice weekly updates about the turmoil of living with AC, let’s face it… if he had his asshole dial cranked to 11 24/7, he woulda Darwin’d himself long ago.
I made a vow to myself when I started this blog never to make up, embellish, or create fake disaster’s just for the sake of having something to...
11 tags
Stay Cool
102 degrees in NYC yesterday, apparently it broke some sort of record. Here’s AC cooling off in the bathroom sink. For everyone who has ever suggested or even thought, “get a spray bottle and spray him when he’s bad!” I present to you Exhibit A. The bastard loves water.
In the Beginning, There was Only One.
Better version of the profile pic
It was a Friday like any other Friday, except there were two notable things happening this Friday.
A. The first iPhone was released to long lines of Mac enthusiasts who would feel stupid after waiting in line for 3 days only to realize it didn’t sell out.
B. I was eager for the end of my work day so I could go get my first ever pet cat. Notice that I...
9 tags
Really...
I mean really… who does shit like this?
Edit: Despite the fact that the litter box looks freshly changed (which it was a couple days ago!), the top is not normally sitting next to the litter box… it’s normally sitting on top where it belongs.
June 2010
4 posts
11 tags
Not even for a minute...
I seem to recall there being some sort of PSA campaign from the 80’s or 90’s about child safety. The tag line or the main emphasis was to never leave your child alone, “Not even for a minute.” This was because in those 60 seconds your child could conceivably fill up the bathtub with water and drown itself, or knock back several shots of Drano.
This morning after I got...
10 tags
AC's Revenge
This is the scene I woke up to this morning. Rather, this is the scene I noticed about 5 minutes after waking up as I didn’t even notice it on my way to the bathroom. Coming back is another story. Ice is melted, food is warm and spoiled, compressor in the back is hot as fuck from working it’s ass off all night. At least the liquor doesn’t go bad!
And I know there is the...
7 tags
I Can Has Domain?
Bought www.mycatisanasshole.com on my lunch break today. It’s now easier to spread the word of AC to others!
12 tags
An Experiment in Puke Reduction
For those unaware, there is a Yin to AC’s Yang, a Jelly to his Peanut Butter, a DC to his AC… and her name is DC (Defensive Cat.) A couple years back DC developed an insane crying problem which was originally diagnosed by their vet as… and I do quote… “Hard turdses, hard stoolses, hard poopies.” (I’m not even joking, that’s what she said.) I...
April 2010
1 post
12 tags
Asshole Evolved
As I always do when I wake up in the morning, the first thing I do is a cat check to ensure that AC hasn’t escaped nor Darwin’d himself in the night (I’m not joking, these two reasons are honestly why I do this every morning.) I found DC just waking up on the couch as always but AC was not in any of his usual “I run this bitch” places. After a few minutes of...
February 2010
1 post
Fuck you cat... I win!
AC has been really testing me lately. He has been attacking my mattress without mercy. He won’t even stop shredding it until I’m actually on my feet and away from my chair anymore. I’ve been trying the tried and true method of dog training by grabbing him and ramming his face into the mattress… perhaps instilling some sort of fear that doing such an action again will...
December 2009
1 post
When all else fails... drugs
It’s been awhile, so I figured I’d put an update on here. I didn’t feel the need to constantly update this site because well… I wouldn’t have any free time if I did. After having shown this site to my mom, she recommended this stuff called Bach Rescue Remedy. It’s some holistic stuff made from flowers and hippies or some such shit that she uses for her dog...
October 2009
1 post
September 2009
11 posts
Treasure Trove
Every Sunday I do my laundry, and every Sunday I get to find out what AC’s most prized possessions are for the week. See, AC likes to take things he likes and presumably wants to keep safe and hides them in my laundry bin. I meant to post this yesterday but I ended up getting busy doing laundry. So here is what I found this week:
1 x Yellow fine point Sharpie marker
1 x Aqua fine point...
Good Morning... I've Made Art For You
I woke up this morning to find not one, but TWO rolls of paper towel shredded all over my living room. Mixed in was one pile of still warm cat puke. Had I been able to comprehend the complexities of getting my camera and taking a pic 5 minutes after waking up I would have. I instead muttered “You sonuvabitch” and proceeded to clean up the mess.
I need to start locking my computer...
An All Too Common Homecoming Gift
Came home to 3 piles of puke on the floor. Thanks AC. And yes, I know it was AC because he does this often. I change up their food trying to find something that will be easier on his stomach but I think I’m just finally coming to grips with the fact that he does it in protest for the fact that he no longer gets canned food. It’s been 2 years since I stopped buying canned food...
A Failed Experiment
In the 2 1/2 years I have had my cats, I’ve had to lock them out of my bedroom when I sleep at night. This is because AC thinks I’m some sort of playground when I’m sleeping and does a flying elbow drop on me from the top of my wardrobe.
Recently I have been doing a trial run to see if AC can behave himself while I sleep and leave my bedroom door open. Here are some of...
